3180 Malaysian Males To Turn Gay On 22nd November 2011

That’s right, folks. Remember you read it right here on Spanking DA Monkey. We seldom make bombastic predictions like these, but when we have an iron clad and solid source like the Pahang PAS Youth, how can we pass up the opportunity?

  

Pahang Pas Youth is protesting Elton John’s concert because of John's homosexual status. Its chairman, Shahril Azman Abdul Halim, said in a statement that  Elton John's performance here could negatively influence the young.

Shahril said the image the singer portrayed was not suitable for Malaysian culture. So there you go. Aren’t we Malaysians just so impressionable and feeble minded? Hands up all you buggers who turned gay after watching Chef Wan and Aznil and Eric Leong’s shows. No, not you, Anwar. Bad boy - you’re bisexual and you don’t even know it. Funny how Shahril has no concerns on that.

The legendary performer, singer, composer and songwriter Elton John is brought in by Tune Live and will perform at Resorts World Genting's Arena of Stars on Nov 22 for his Greatest Live Tour, for the very first time in his four-decade career.

Over his 40-year career, 64 year old John has won an impressive five Grammys, sold over 250 million albums worldwide and continues to perform more than 100 shows a year, placing him squarely among the top 10 best-selling artistes in music history.

In 1993, Elton met his partner David Furnish, now 49 years old. In 2005, the two entered into a civil partnership, and last Christmas they legally adopted a baby boy, Zachary.

Elton John (birth name Reginald Dwight) was knighted by Queen Elizabeth in 1998, and his Elton John AIDS Foundation has  raised more than US220 million in support of HIV prevention since 1992. His music is loved by millions of people worldwide who don’t seem to be bothered that he’s gay.

So where did the Spanker get the figure of 3180 Malaysian males turning gay after Elton’s concert?

Easy. The seating capacity for Genting’s Arena of Stars is 6000 pax. Spank this little monkey here for the facts

In 2010, demographics for Malaysia indicate the male to female ratio at 1.2%. Spank this little monkey here for the facts

Simple math will lead you 3180 lah. We can even break it down further into Malays at 60.3%, Chinese 22.9%, and Indians 6.8% of the total population, i.e 1869 Malay males, 822 Chinese males and 489 Indian males will, according to Pahang PAS Youth, turn gay after enjoying Elton’s concert in Malaysia.

Spank thi...ahh, you know the drill by now.

 

Happy Deepavali 1Malaysia

Happy Deepavali. Enjoy responsibly. 
Don't drink & drive. 

You may hit a bump and spill it.

Happy Deepavali 2011 Malaysia

As usual, the Petronas Deepavali 2011 ad is spot on. It says the journey to creating a better life begins within us. It's the passion and determination to pursue something worthwhile. It's the dedication and effort to toil through challenges in our lives that ultimately makes our lives better.

This commercial embodies that spirit, of the hardships and work that we put into providing for our loved ones.It's the mutual feeling of togetherness and the unbreakable human spirit that drives us to do our best.This is the light within all of us. May that light continue to burn bright.

Happy Deepavali, Malaysia

Muammar Qaddafi - the coolest dictator ever!

Libya has turned into a war zone, the global media, led by Al Jazeera had gone rabid against Muammar Qaddafi. Twitter and Facebook had erupted with Qaddafi hatred – but hold on, The Spanker thinks there are a whole bunch of reasons why Qaddafi was really a great guy.

1. His dress sense. Who can hate someone who defined his own style, and stuck with it year-after-year? I personally think any man who can carry off swathes of cloth wrapped around him with a messy unkempt I’m-a-70s-rocker hairdo deserves some credit, no?

2. Call me an Afghanistani, but I find dictators who usurp power and hold onto it with an iron fist, military might, dollops of nationalism with just a touch of sneaky underhandedness kind of sexy. I mean, who needs democracy anyway – it’s so 2001!

3. Anyone who can piss off millions of Facebook and Twitter users (who had never even heard his name a month ago) in the span of a few days, well, speaks for itself.

4. He has a stadium named after him for helping Pakistan with its nuclear program back when he was a totally hot anti-imperialism hero. Hello, has everyone forgotten that? Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but I’m not buying into how smoothly all these revolutions are taking place, with a more-than-cheerful United States waving their freedom banner yet again.

5. Qaddafi was willing to bomb his own citizens for something he truly loved and believed in.

6. Qaddafi’s son (future dictator?) isn’t so bad himself.

7. How many dictators knows how to rock it out? When they weren’t indulging in war crimes the Qaddafi family enjoyed spending millions of dollars on Mariah Carrey and Nelly Furtado concerts. Could such a patron of the arts really have it wrong? I think not.

8. You can never spell his name wrong. Gaddafi? Sure. Kattafi? Why not. Gadhafi? Knock yourself out. Alternatively, you could refer to him by his official title “Brotherly Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya” – now if that isn’t cool I don’t know what is. If that one’s a little long for you, fret not, he bestowed another title upon himself “King of Kings of Africa.”

9. Qaddafi’s royal guard of 40 virgins was enough to give any young jihadist second-thoughts about a suicide mission. The dictator is living proof that you can achieve heaven on earth if you just try hard enough.

10. Consistency. The streets may have been filled with protesters calling for him to step down but Qaddafi remained clearheaded and understanding. He knew that they were just confused and would come to their senses once the pills wore off.

After all, Qaddafi knew the people really did love him.

Cikgu Adnan's "Road To London"

Proving that age is just a number, Adnan Osman, 69, has flagged off on 25 Sep 2011, embarking on a 10-month cycling expedition from here to London to raise funds for the Malaysian AIDS Foundation (MAF).

Dubbed the "Road to London" mission, the expedition will cover up to 20,000km and take Adnan across 13 countries, such as Thailand, Laos, China, Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Iran, Turkey, Greece, Austria, Germany and France.

The retired teacher, known as "Cikgu Adnan", wishes to have his journey halfway across the world serve as a platform to raise funds for the Positive Audacious Living (PAL) scheme, a medicine assistance programme run by the MAF.

The PAL scheme has provided nearly 60 HIV-positive Malaysians with subsidised highly active anti-retroviral therapy. However, because of limited funds, the scheme has not been able to reach more people.

It is Adnan's hope that the hype and publicity surrounding his quest to London would spur corporate donors and the public to give people living with HIV a chance.

"This is more than just a quest for my own self-satisfaction. It is also a bid to increase awareness of HIV/AIDS issues and educate the public on the hardships of those living with the disease, many of whom come from underprivileged background and are marginalised because of the stigma associated with the disease" he said.

The mission will not be Adnan's first undertaking in support of the foundation's cause. In 2009, he raised funds by taking part in the seven-day Marathon des Sables, which took him across 243km of the Sahara desert's harsh terrain in what is known as the toughest foot race on earth.

Neither will this be his first attempt at cycling to an Olympic venue as three years ago, Adnan had set out on his two-wheeler to make his way to Beijing in time for the 2008 Olympics there. Unfortunately, his journey was cut short in Hanoi, Vietnam, when he was refused an visa entry into China.

Adnan, who is no stranger to arduous challenges, has so far completed 12 marathons, conquered 12 of the highest peaks in Malaysia and cycled through most Southeast Asian nations.

Through his achievements he would like to spread the message that health and physical fitness can be achieved by all, irrespective of age or gender.

"As long as you keep yourself healthy, there is no limit to what you can achieve."

If you’d like to keep track of Adnan's progress in his adventures, visit his blog at http://oadnanxtreme.blogspot.com.

For information on the Positive Audacious Living (PAL) scheme, visit www.saveyourpal.com.my

You can email Adnan at adnan0711@gmail.com or check out his fb page at

http://www.facebook.com/AdnanKL2London?sk=wall

Contributions in support of the "Road to London" mission will be channelled to the MAF and can be made directly to "Malaysian AIDS Foundation" via Maybank account number: 5141 0542 1257.

Donations of RM50 and above will be issued tax exemption receipts.

The Spanker has donated. Will you?

Lim Guan Eng Jr - Did He Or Didn't He?

 

So, did 16 year old Lim Guan Eng Junior do it or didn't he?

The Spanker doesn't care.

While acknowledging that a savvy politician must take advantage of any and all opportunities presented to him, the Spanker feels very strongly that there must be a moral line that is not to be crossed.

There must be honor, even among political enemies.

Attacking kids to get at their parents is not cool.

The line stops here.